The Everyday Mom’s Guide to Remaining Fabulous

Remaining Fabulous 

Do you ever have days when you wonder what your younger self would think if she saw you now? As a mom, being pulled in a hundred different directions each day, it’s easy to feel like less than your fabulous self. Our sense of identity can sometimes get “lost” in the shuffle. But it’s so incredibly important to hold on to your sense of self. Remaining fabulous is not about looking fabulous, it’s about feeling fabulous and being your best self. It is possible to be a mom and also be fabulous. Sometimes it can be a struggle in a world of diapers and tantrums, but it is doable. How can you remain your fabulous self? It all boils down to a few main areas:

SELF-CARE

Self-care, self-care, self-care! I can’t say it enough. I never even knew what this was before having kids, because frankly, my whole life was self-care. Self-care can mean different things to different people. For me, it’s taking 20 minutes to do yoga before bed. It’s taking the time to use one of my favorite Lush bath bombs. It’s spending a full half hour doing my makeup. And of course, coffee. Nothing makes me happier than sitting at home with a HOT mug (it’s gotta be a mug) of coffee in my hands. I can be sitting with two crying babes on my lap, with those god-awful Kids YouTube videos playing on the iPad, and as long as I’ve got my mug, I’m good.

I’m a stay at home mom, but I still like to get up in the morning, shower, and some days do my makeup even if I’m not leaving the house. Why? Because it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel like a member of the human race and because I can still see some semblance of myself when I look in the mirror. Take the time to feel good about yourself.

Being a glamazon at heart I also  need to stay up-to-date on the latest makeup trends and products that are out there. How do I do this as a stay at home mom? By subscribing to a monthly beauty box. It brings me such joy to have this show up at my door once a month and be able to feel like a real girl. Playing with my beauty products is my favorite naptime activity.

Find your favorite forms of self-care and make time for them throughout the day.

ALONE TIME

Time for yourself is definitely part of self-care, but it’s important enough to be its own category. If you haven’t locked yourself in your bedroom while your toddler is throwing a temper tantrum on the other side of the door you haven’t lived (am I right?). We’ve all been there. And If you don’t take time out of your day to be completely alone and recharge your batteries  you.will.lose.your.mind. Just taking 5 minutes to sit alone to do some breathing exercises can make a world of difference. Exercise, take your dog for a walk, whatever you need to do.

The greatest thing I’ve learned about alone time is that you need to schedule it! Put it right on the calendar and treat it as a commitment that needs to be honored just like your yearly physical. You know, the one that you secretly look forward to because you get to spend 45 minutes alone in your car, catch up on some magazine reading, and have someone give you samples of medication.

At least one night a week I flee the house as soon as my husband gets home from work. I also escape early one morning a week before he leaves for work. Whether I’m wandering around Target or typing away at Starbucks, it’s MY time to be alone with my own thoughts for a few hours. That way, even if our week gets chaotic, those times are set.

It is NOT selfish to take time for yourself. It is not selfish to need to spend an hour away from your kids so that you can go get an ice cream cone alone and cry in your car (been there). And it’s certainly not selfish to want to FEEL like yourself – not your “old” self, because she never went away. She may have gone into hiding for survival’s sake, but she’s always been there.

Find the things that make you feel totally free for a short time, and give yourself permission to enjoy them.

Remaining fabulous as a mom can be difficult, but it is NOT impossible! It’s not about looking fabulous, it’s about feel fabulous and being your best self to take care of the ones that you love. Making time for yourself can take a little planning but it is 100% necessary! How can you remain your fabulous self? Read the Everyday Mom’s Guide to Remaining Fabulous. – Remaining Meg Blog

RELATIONSHIPS

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, your personal relationships are so incredibly important. It’s easy to alienate yourself from your social circles – you’re tired, busy, maybe you even have some PPD. I get it, I was guilty of distancing myself in the beginning too. But you need these personal connections beyond your bubble of home and your workplace. You need kid-free time with other adults where you are not preoccupied thinking for yourself and the other human beings you’re responsible for. If it’s difficult to pin down a date to get together with your girlfriends, make a standing date (ie: The first Friday of every month). I have a couple of girlfriends that when we’re together for a night out, we make a date for our next get together that evening and put it right on our calendars. It might be a month or two away, but that’s OK.

The same goes for your significant other. Your husband/boyfriend/wifey/girlfriend/fur daddy/sugar daddy – whatever you call them, make time for them as well. Even if you can only get it together for one date night a month, you have to do it.

You are more than parents, you are a couple!

CLOTHES/SHOES

Don’t dress the way you feel, dress the way you WANT to feel. I know many of us are not 100% happy with our bodies after having kids. It can be tempting to hide your body under ill-fitting clothes. But, wearing clothes that hide your body don’t necessarily hide your “flaws”. What it can do, is accentuate the parts of your body you’re trying to cover up and make you look messy. If you dress like a dumpy mess because you feel like a dumpy mess, then you’re not going to feel any better about yourself. I stay home every day, but that doesn’t mean I need to wear sweats all the time, I’m not a hobo. If you stay home, get up, shower, and put on clothes. I guarantee you, you’ll feel ten times better. And let’s talk about yoga pants. I enjoy lounging around in my yoga pants as much as the next gal. And sure, they make your ass look nice, but you can’t feel good about yourself living in yoga pants all of the time. I’m sure you look way more fabulous than you think, show off what you got, mama!

If you’re headed out for a night out, dress it up girl! I love love love a gorgeous pair of heels and I wear them every chance I get! The higher the better has always been my motto (my husband refers to this as short girl syndrome). In my book, heels = instant confidence. I know there are many women who do not agree with me on this. To each their own, and if heels aren’t your thing, wear something else that makes you feel fabulous. BUT make sure it’s something special. Don’t forget about your accessories!

FIND AN OUTLET

Cooking class? Bike riding? Social group? Stop saying you wish you had time to do these things and instead make them happen. Finding something that makes you feel creative, independent and alive is so important.

My oldest is 3 years old, and in 3 years I haven’t been able to find the right group of moms that I “fit in” with. SO, I took matters into my own hands and created my own group. I call it a “play group” for moms – no kids allowed. We’re called Moms Who Like to Drink Wine. We meet monthly to sip and paint, go to trivia, taste wine, etc. (Our first outing is this month, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on how it goes). I just wanted to find a group of likeminded moms – no not necessarily moms who like to enjoy a big glass of wine, but moms who are just as stressed as me. Moms are flaky, I get it, it comes with the territory, but I’m looking for moms that won’t flake out and understand what a necessity a good night out with other ladies is. I couldn’t believe how many people wanted to join within the first few days.

Find your outlet!

PURSUE YOUR PASSIONS

What do you, or DID you love to do before having kids? Shopping? Marathon running? Roller derby? Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have to do stop doing those things. In fact, it’s even MORE important for your self-esteem and mental health that you continue to do those things!

Have you ever felt like you don’t even know WHAT you used to do for enjoyment? I totally went through that. I’ve been on this crazy journey trying to discover/rediscover those things the past few years (more on that in a future post). Rediscovery is not a bad thing. It’s exciting and weird but it’s all about personal growth and finding the things that make you excited to get up in the morning (besides the faces of your beautiful family, of course).

Writing has always been a secret passion of mine and this is what brought me to creating a blog. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have to put your dreams on hold. Want that promotion? Go for it! Want to learn photography? Take a class! It’s never too late to pursue a passion.

Set your goals, and work towards them.

When it comes to remaining true to yourself, and the things that you love, doing so can be difficult as a parent, but it is possible. However, doing so effectively does take a little bit of planning. We give up a lot for our kids, but if we’re not taking care of ourselves (physically, emotionally, and mentally) how can we be our best selves to take care of them? Don’t neglect that girl inside of the “mom”. She’s still there and she deserves a little attention too. How do you remain fabulous?

For more self-care tips, read my favorite strategies here.

Remaining fabulous isn't about looking fabulous, it’s about feeling fabulous and being your best… Click To Tweet How can you remain your fab self? With the help of the Everyday Moms Guide to Remaining Fabulous! Click To Tweet

Does this totally resonate with you? Know some other mamas that need these tips? Hit those “share” buttons. Better yet, follow and subscribe!

Remaining fabulous as a mom can be difficult, but it is NOT impossible! It’s not about looking fabulous, it’s about feel fabulous and being your best self to take care of the ones that you love. Making time for yourself can take a little planning but it is 100% necessary! How can you remain your fabulous self? Read the Everyday Mom’s Guide to Remaining Fabulous. – Remaining Meg Blog

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27 thoughts on “The Everyday Mom’s Guide to Remaining Fabulous

  1. I can so relate to ALL of this! Spending even 30 minutes “getting ready” in the morning can totally make or break the day! And yes! All of the coffee!

  2. Pursuing my passion has been a big thing in my life since the arrival of my little one. My number one passion (aside from motherhood) is my career as an attorney. I could never give that up and still be happy. My second passion is blogging. I always wanted to blog and it wasn’t until my little one was born that I finally got that little push I needed. This has brought a whole new passion to my life that I never knew and am so happy with.

  3. I actually do try these tips…well, except you will rarely find me with make up on if I have nowhere to be (kudos to you on that one!). It does make a difference in how I feel as a person when I put myself upfront sometimes. My younger me would still cringe a little (okay, a lot), but I try!

  4. I completely agree with all of this. The hard part is fitting it ALL in! My daughter is two, and I feel that just within the last few months, life has settled to a place where I am routinely able to manage everything on this list. I’m due with #2 in September though… So, I know things are going to get crazy, and many of these items will probably be neglected. I need to keep this post bookmarked for this coming fall!

  5. Wow… reading through this made me realize just how many areas I’ve been neglecting – alone time, relationships, an outlet, a passion… yikes! Now to take your tips and find ways to make room for those things again!

  6. Ah, you are preaching the impossible to me, but I hear ya loud and clear….need to make more time for myself!

  7. Love this post! I also love the fact that you mentioned Roller Derby as it is something I have done for the past 7 years. Though I may not be fully back on skates yet I have definitely found ways to stay involved. It is so important to make sure you have your outlet and your time away from the home. Did I mention I also love the fact that you created your own mom group? I may just have to steal that idea!

    1. Kassi, that is awesome! You should start your own mom group! I guarantee you, there’s way more people that need it than you think. My group got over 150 members the first week.

  8. Great post! And right on spot! We do need to make time for ourselves but for me this NEVER happens. My alone time consists of taking a 20 minute shower while the kids take their naps. I have been working toward making time for me and my friends however, I had my first outting with one of my girlfriend’s but the kids came along. Going to the dentist with just my six month old is like a mini vacay. Sad but true. Hello mom can’t even go per without the door being swung open several times. We do need to make ourselves a priority and remember that in order to take care of others we must first take care of ourselves! Thanks again for the great post.

    1. Amber, I totally know what you mean. I haven’t always had these rules for myself. Two year ago I thought I could do it all, until one day I had a panic attack and I realized I had to start taking care of myself a little more. That’s where scheduling these times came into play. Give it a try!

  9. This is scary accurate to everything I’ve been feeling lately! I had my son (first child also) 5 months ago and I’m just now getting close to my “pre-mom bod” (which wasn’t that great to begin with lol). BUT I’m now getting in shape for ME and I’m feeling better and dressing/looking better. I still have my yoga pants days (I mean come on, they’re just too easy!), but I also have my wear-a-dress-for-no-reason days also! And I have a standing girls night out every Thursday with one of my friends who isn’t even a mom! LOL I love love love this post! Thank you for reminding us mom to be fabulous!

  10. When I first had my daughter, my wardrobe suffered. Now I’m finally getting back to dressing like my pre child days.

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